Paging all Women of this board....

[Gary]

Ok elephant brain....Gesh Mike...nothing slips by you...EVER!

yes...Ron did make a move on Alice but she's married to a Rochester Italian and enough said there.

However, I repeat something I wrote about blogs ago...this was told to me by Peter Kelty at Alta.

"Ski in a bubble".....he said, when skiing, think of yourself in a giant clear bubble. That is YOUR space, space that NO ONE shall enter. Always maintain distances and direction based on your sense of "bubble intrusion"....has worked for me for years.

Lynn, were you packing when you were viciously attacked and plastered on to the snow? Cause I know Jim would have been airrated if you were. Hmmm....what DID go through your mind when that happened? What did you say.....did your "bubble intrusion" alert sound alarms just before impact? I think there should be a full investigation and Jim's licenses should be pulled until a non bias, non partial panel could conclued why your bubble was pierced....


Jim....we're watching you!!!!! ? ?? ?Gary

[jim-ratliff]

Jim....we're watching you!!!!! ? ?? ?Gary

Gary, you may be watching me but I was watching Lynn.  My bubble was doing fine, I was going to pass her to the left of her bubble that she was zooming down, when I realized that she was exercising a woman's perogotive, she had changed her mind.  She skied rignt into me as I passed her on the left.  It used to be easier before she got comfortable skiing mach schnell!!

I plead NOLO CONTENDRE (I learned that in business school). I WAS watching Lynn. She has this pair of white ski pants -- not tight but very attractive.  That's the reason for the Nolo Contendre plea -- I couldn't help myself any more than a moth being drawn to the flame.

[Gary]

I see....your side of the story is in...so as I understand it...the flames coming off of her skis momentarily distracted you....ah uh....I say very interesting!

AND your use of legal language shall not impress this board as we are only bubble oriented.

So a claim of insanity would probably be your only defense and that ship has left the port.

So...we standby for the assaulted ones repsone...be informed Jim, that although you're watching me, we are watching your bank accounts to make sure no large sums of money are transferred to the assaulted party and that no large purchases such as new skis, boots, or skiing attire are being purchased to buy off this poor poor damaged woman.

I remain totally impartial until all details of the event have been scrutinized!

[jim-ratliff]

OK, I plead BADD (Bubble Attention Deficit Disorder).? I suffered from "attraction distraction" resulting in bubble overlap with Lynn's bubble.

What can I say -- she was an irrestible force that just drew me in.

Unfortunately, since she worked last night, we won't be hearing HER side of the story in the near term.

[ToddW]

Jim,

If the white pants led to your "downfall" then it follows that Lynn is due a couple of new ski outfits for her future safety, no?

[jim-ratliff]

Jim,

If the white pants led to her "downfall" then it follows that Lynn is due a couple of new ski outfits for her future safety, no?

 
Thank you Todd. I'm sure "someone" will be glad to hear that.

[Perry]

Judge Gary, if I may address the board,

As Jim's advocate, I want to offer a defense that will totally and completely establish his innocence in this unfortunate event.

You see, he was not responsible at all, there was a third party! Another woman who, it has be well documented on this board can be wayward. A woman who has caused unpredicted falls before.  Jim, in his loyalty to defend her has remained mute, but I feel compelled to expose the guilty party --- Mariella!

[jim-ratliff]

In the beginning God created man and then woman.? And ever since that time man has been blaming others for his bad decisions. Adam started it when he chose to eat of the apple; "God, it was the woman's fault; the one YOU gave me."? (How's that for the original version of double blame shifting?)

My pro bono advocate/attorney has wisely seen the truth and the historical precedent of this matter and now wisely explains that it WAS anothers fault -- Mariella who was, at the time of the event, locked up at the bottom of the hill and obviously jealous that I was off skiing with Lynn rather than spending time with her.  And, for all we know, she may have been very upset that I put her in the hands of another earlier in the day, maybe she wasn't feeling sufficiently appreciated.  I imagine that this, combined with earlier episodes where she remained locked in the car rather than being invited inside was just too much for her!? It WAS Mariella's fault!!

And, to continue the logic, it was also jbotti's fault for first piqueing my interest in the said offender on this matter. Without his complicity there very likely would not BE a Mariella in my life!!? Shame on you John, for causing Lynn to get run over by me.?

[Perry]

And So,
another lawyer named Perry, unravels a complicated and convoluted skiing tale.

Had Lynn had another lawyer with her when she bought her previous boots he would have said;









wait for it





"If it does not fit, you must remit!"  but then legends would not have been born.

[midwif]

OMG!!!

THe flights of fancy and disturbing rhetorical justification taking place in my name!!!

You guys are hilarious.


And yes Todd, the white pants have been demoted. New gray heathered colored ones will hopefully keep Jims eyes uninterested during turns.

And yes, Mike, you are ALSO correct!! On thinking back, Jim and I have had a few previous misses occurring almost the same way. A little to close on the slopes.
I think we have to adjust accordingly.

I didn't move initially because I was doing a body check. I knew my mouth and neck hurt, so was silently seeing if anything felt really injured. And I was quite stunned. I never saw Jim until he "was on top of me"
(that's my defense, judge and I"m sticking to it!)

Yep, need bubble work for sure.

Perry, despite my moans and groans with my previous boots, they did end up being the RIGHT fit! After I trimmed my feet a bit.

Lynn

[Gary]

Todd, shame on thee...how easy it is for you to blame the woman in hot white pants...shame shame shame...it is this kind of verbal abuse, none taken literally, that has forced woman to ski in larger bubbles than men.

And Perry, you sinful reprehensible legal advisor...sure there's always another woman. Admit it, you were wearing woman's attire, something with a little check and pink print in it that threw Jim off his guard. However you do get points for your quick wit of your closing remarks. Obviously your smart dressing as well as your verbal prowess is what confused him.

Lynn as gracious as you always have been, never to cast a stone unless well aimed, (please post pictures of you in you hot white pants so this court can record for "posterity" the significance of this case) this court hereby does absolve Jim of all wrong doing on this basis and this basis only...

As Jim solemnly attested his bubble was attached to Lynn's bubble and we so know double bubbles are so hard to achieve...it is the envy of every bubble maker. Therefore, barring an further personal and emotional damage to each other, this court so orders that you both increase the size of your bubbles while attached and announce that your two bubbles will be adjoined prior to any run you are about to begin. Then and only then shall all bubble intrusion liability be waived and duly noted to all those in ear shot.

The Bubble Master has spoken?

[LivingProof]

Just for the record, I, too, was skiing in white pants. Jim has his hormones in the right place.

Also, just thinking out loud, but Lynn was smiling after demoing 2 different skis on Friday. Perhaps there will be more than a "kiss and make up" on Jim's part?

[Perry]

Lynn, just curious what skis you liked

[jim-ratliff]

All the silliness aside and also for the record, Lynn wasn't upset and no "kiss and make up" was necessary (although a welcome excuse). ?She finally told me to "stop saying you're sorry, it's OK". ?

I think she should demo the Progressor 8 (and get her EveryThangs tuned) and then decide whether or not she feels enough improvement that she wants to buy something. We don't think her skis have been tuned since spring of 2009, but she also doesn't ski those as much.

I bought her a pair of Fischer Muanga's (84mm waist) for $100 on eBay a couple of years ago.? For those that were at Aspen last year, that's what she was skiing.? The Muanga's aren't very well known but are a very good ski that became better known when the topsheet was changed and called the Vision Zeal. Svend also bought a pair for his daughter and she loves hers as well.

The narrow waisted Kastle (RX72?) is on her "would like to demo" list as well.

[Gary]

Lynn....it appears a bunch love the Dynastar Exclusive Activa as well....loved by RS test. This looks like a great ski.

I put a lady friend of mine on my Fischer Progessor 8's and she loves the carveablity and versatility of those skis.

I truly am enjoying my Kastle MX78, great versatility and performance as well.

Have not tried the LX72 but Alice is on the MX78 and she really loves it. For an east coast ski, I think the 72 would be a better choice just for the tighter turning radius that ski would offer. But for traveling east and west, demo the MX78....might be worth it.

I can say the 78 is a ski that will ski you if you don't ski it so it's not as relaxing as the P8's were but it's got that extra kick in performance I've come to like and with the 78 underfoot, great versatility.

I believe the Dynastar at 74 underfoot provides great versatility as well...certainly worthy of demo.

g