How to answer the call of nature in the woods....

[Ron]

OK, folks I woudl like to bestow a very special Christmas present to the whole gang. I recently encountered the need to answer the call of nature the woods and learned a valuable lesson on the correct way to "relieve yourself" in the trees.

Find a good out of the way location that is out of the immediate line of site.

scope a location that will allow a stable platform and very importantly, an easy out.

if in powder, DO NOT remove your skis, this could be a big problem, much bigger than the one you came into solve.

If windy, do not face into the wind

If extremely cold, plan your actions ahead of time, remember that skin can freeze quickly in extreme cold. Keep in mind the words of George Castanza, "it shrinks like a scared turtle" in the cold. "Shrinkage" could be another embarassing problem.

In powder, make sure you position your skis in an inverted wedge, this will prevent accidiental contact with your boards when buried under the snow.

Make sure you  shake that extra time, remember moisture in the cold is your enemy!

Make a quick exit and do not sign your name!

Merry Christmas to all!

Ron

[midwif]

THe instructions, while excellent for the male of the species, are not accurate for the female.

Women need to use the usual wedge position while doing the squat and holding all pantwear out of the way.

Wind direction assessed for this variant as well. Facing into wind probably best.

Shaking of no use: an extra tissue in pocket is best to prevent "that clammy feeling"

All other excellent suggestions are applicable to both sexes!

Lynn

[Ron]

Ahh, thank you and the female perspective is much apprecaited to make this as user friendly as possible!  I miss skiing with the gang! Lets plan another outing soon!

[Gary]

"of all the gin joints"

You guys crack me up.....

can't wait till we all get together again!

Lynn fired right back at ya Ron.....thata way lady! The lessons one learns on this site are so useful.....I wonder if our friends from anywhere the other side of any ocean have different methods.

Hmmmm,

Gary

[Ron]

She can make turns with the best of them and dish it out too! A key member of Team Real skier!

[fredm8]

What to do when there are no trees ?

[Gary]

Find a big mogul...oh yeah....better have a spotter!

"Team Real Skiers"....nice Ron!


Gary

[jim-ratliff]

 
All:

I've been trying to resist this post, but I'm suffering cabin fever from lack of snow (or even cold enough temperatures to make snow) here in the East, so here goes.

Ron, I'm very curious as to why "how to wee in the woods" belongs in the 'gear' section of the forum? 

I can easily understand skis; I can understand jackets and gloves and goggles and ski poles.  But it seems to me that this topic should have been posted to a new section, "ski technique" wherein all things related to technique used while skiing can be discussed?  Whose the moderator, can we make that change?

[midwif]

So, are you suggesting a REALSKIERS forum? Not just a gear forum? Unless there's a PMTS version of "the call of nature" with its own pmts technique, I don't think this would go over well there. Which is a shame. I like having fun on this side of the pond.
Lynn

[jim-ratliff]

    ...  Welll, there are techniques other than PMTS.  I was just trying to initiate some conversation about whether this topic was mostly gear or mostly technique?

And you are absolutely right, I very much enjoy the light banter here.

[Gary]

Let me give this a shot...

Question asked: "mostly gear or technique"

Well I think it's a combination of both...ones gear is the catalyst that mandates the technique.

And as far as little toe tipping and big toe edging (PMTS)...I think it depends on how even the terrain is when you've located the correct spot.

YOu see...it really is a versatile post!

Ok...yep and enough said..